This is probably the most requested post that I have ever written!! And for good reason!
I just wanted to say that all children are individual and what works for one might not work another. I am not implying that if you do all of these things that your child will magically recover. I can say with 1000% certainty though, that by implementing even some of the below you WILL definitely see progress, positive changes associated with sleep, behaviour and picky eating! And your child’s overall health WILL improve.
Rose is an extremely sensitive child, so most of the things here are just natural interventions. Which have always worked best for us. Whenever we tried to meddle with nature it caused us more issues, such as severe reactions and regressions! We have used a few supplements over the years. But these are based on lab results – so are specifically tailored to Rose.
Another thing that I am not a fan of is hugely restrictive diets. I am so happy for you if you have found success with those, and I am not implying that you go against your own gut when it comes to your children. If something is working out well for you guys then that is brilliant! For us though, restricted diets never worked. They caused anxiety around food for the whole family, stress, fear and exacerbated picky eating. At one point we had like 3 foods that were an accepted ‘fit’ under our biomed doctor- how ridiculous!! You cannot live like that – and if you are working on gut health (which if you have a child with autism is a must!) you need a vast diversity of foods within the diet to improve it!
When I say restricted diets I mean things like GAPS, SCD etc.
If you are worried about implementing change for your child, take it back to basics. Reducing processed foods and feeding them more fruit and vegetables is only ever going to do good things! If you take one thing away from this, I would say that DIET has been the biggest game changer for us.
So what did we do first?
1. Remove gluten and dairy from our diet
This was HUGE for us, I mean within 6 months of removing these two food groups Rose was vocalising words, stopped head banging and having ear and eye infections!! We could also toilet train her and she stopped having diarrhoeh 8 times a day. It was THAT profound!!
Gluten is the name for the proteins found in wheat. Gluten can be found in;
- Barley
- Spelt
- Rye
- Farro
- Semolina
- Wheatberries
- Farina
- Einkorn
- Triticale
Gluten helps foods to maintain their shape, acting like glue that holds foods together. Gluten can be found in many different types of foods, even ones that you wouldn’t expect – this is why it is very important to check labels before buying products off the shelves.
Some food that gluten is found in;
- Breads
- Baked goods
- Soups
- Pasta
- Cereals
- Sauces
- Salad dressings
- Roux
- Beer
- Brewer’s yeast
- Food colouring
- Malted milk and milkshakes
- Malt syrup
- Malt vinegar
- Oats (can be contaminated with gluten – ensure you buy gluten free) If a child is sensitive to gluten they could develop an immune response to oat proteins too.
One of the reasons that parents like us see such fundamental gains after removing gluten and dairy is because they are an extremely high source of free glutamate. Glutamate is known to be HUGELY significant for our children with autism. The research is emerging in spades – I have a whole page dedicated to it with lots of resources for learning more HERE – I would say that if you have a child with autism then to learn about glutamate is absolutely crucial. When you have time – do have a look over some of the resources. It has been a big piece of the puzzle for us!
Years after removing gluten and dairy, we had some tests carried out which revealed that Rose is also intolerant to dairy, – do you have a baby with colic/reflux type symptoms? A baby that screams after every feed? This is not normal – and can sometimes mean that they have an intolerance to dairy! Repeated exposure to foods which we might be sensitive to such as dairy cause lots of gut irritation and effectively erodes the gut lining. It causes inflammation within the body and immune dysregulation which may show up as repeated infections. It also is one huge cause of picky eating. Histamine is released in response to allergens such as dairy in the body. This can cause the child to become addicted to these sensations when consuming foods that are harming them. Excess histamine is also significant in sleep issues. If your child struggles to fall asleep – histamine might be at play. More on histamine HERE.
It is known that up to 65% of the population have a hard time digesting the proteins found in milk too!
One of the other things I think is important to note is that if you are sensitive to proteins from milk – you are probably going to be sensitive to proteins from wheat too. This is called cross reactivity and happens because the protein structure is very similar.
I wish I had known this back when Rose’s eye infections were so bad. Her eyes were so sticky that some days she couldn’t open them without pain. Her ear infections were so bad that her eardrums burst frequently. So much so that we had to buy new pillows because of the blood. I feel so upset looking back at those times. I wish I had been given the support of someone that had any kind of knowledge guiding me rather than a GP who repeatedly told me this was ‘normal’. I am thankful that I did take matters into my own hands though. I often wonder where Rose would be right now had I taken all of the advice given, like so many parents in our situation do – trust in the professionals, because they know best right? Wrong!
In Julie Matthew’s book Nourishing Hope For Autism – she points out that chronic ear infections (very common in children with autism) might lead to sulphation issues too. You can learn more about sulphation HERE but for relevance impaired sulphation amongst many other things, impacts the integrity of the gut wall – causing more food sensitivities and gluten and dairy to become much more of an issue.
This is because gluten and dairy turn into opiate compounds. These can leak through the impaired gut lining and cross the blood brain barrier. ‘These opioid peptides fit into the opiate receptors in the body and function like morphine – causing neurological problems’.
This is also one of the reasons why foods such as gluten and dairy are extremely addictive.
As you can see its a bit of a vicious cycle!
Research shows that gluten is also capable of increasing intestinal permeability. It does this by activating zonulin. Zonulin is a protein that regulates the tight junctions of the small intestine. When zonulin is released – the tight junctions open slightly and allow large particles through the intestine wall. Why does this matter?? This again can cause immune dysregulation because larger particles are entering the blood stream when they shouldn’t be. If the gut is already damaged by antibiotics, deficiencies, toxins, diet a vicious cycle begins – more gut damage, more particles allowed through= more food sensitivities. This can result in the body reacting to its own protein sequences (the body attacking itself) which is called autoimmunity.
For Rose the antibiotics in early life acted as a stepping stone to many other issues. Wiping out of beneficial bacteria, coupled with food sensitivities to dairy, more gut damage, excess consumption of refined carbs craved due to to bad bacteria overgrowth. More gut damage due to excess consumption of gluten activating zonulin causing more leaky gut.
Another thing to consider is that gluten ie wheat is heavily sprayed with a herbicide called glyphosate – you can read more about glyphosate HERE – if you go to ‘herbicides’. But in essence glyphosate has been heavily sited as one of the causal factors of autism. It wipes out beneficial gut bacteria, leaving room for bad bacteria, leaky gut, parasites and infections to take over. It also depletes key minerals that are required for essential detoxification and other processes within the body. Many of which are impaired in those with ASD. It has also been linked to cancer. You can see this presentation on glyphosate and autism by Stephanie Seneff HERE, it is pretty mind blowing!.
Think of the wheat that kids eat – it’s not true whole wheat berries – it is usually white refined flour – this acts like sugar in the body and causes inflammation too!
It is not surprising to me that most children improve on a gluten and dairy free diet. And that is what we saw. Often parents report their children seeming ‘drunk’ and then they ‘sober up’ on a GF/DF diet and one reason is because of the morphine like effects.
There is so much more about gluten and gut health. I have just highlighted some of the reasons it helped us here.
2. Removing processed foods and sugar
So when we moved away from gluten and dairy, what were the first things we did? Looked for gluten and dairy free alternatives of course! How were we going to live without crackers or bread! That seemed really daunting and scary. Pasta made up the bulk of our meals. How would we live without it??
I didn’t have a clue really about what I would use instead. Buying alternatives off the shelves was convenient for us and the labelling fooled me into thinking I was eating mostly nourishing foods. Removing these foods and cooking mostly from scratch was another huge game changer for us. Most of these alternative foods are filled with MSG. MSG is excitatory and is found in almost ALL processed foods, cakes, crackers, crisps, dips, gravy, sauces, stock pots, ready meals etc etc. It has around 50 different names that it is hidden under too! Excess glutamate impacts the body’s ability to make GABA a calming neurotransmitter – which is responsible for sleep and speech see GLUTAMATE. They are loaded with preservatives, sugar and other chemicals that we have no idea about the safety of.. I often suggest imagining baking a cake yourself and leaving it on your work top for 6 months. What would that food look like?? Really rancid! Now think about how many chemicals you would need to add to ensure that the cake smells, tastes, looks as good and is as ‘fresh’ as the day it was baked 6 months ago! Crazy. After removal of processed alternative foods and sugars Rose’s sleep went from up at night screaming every half an hour to sleeping mostly until 5am! This was mind blowing and is one of the reasons today that we are still so anti anything processed or high sugar! She now sleeps from around 7.30pm to 6am. Honestly this was life changing for us. Rose’s cognition and behaviour also improved a lot after she actually started sleeping!
Another thing to consider is the bacteria in the gut. When fed an abundance of processed high sugar foods the bad bacteria proliferates, crowding out the good. If you have a child like ours who had been given antibiotics in early life (wiping out the good bacteria) it made it extremely easy for the bad guys to take over. It acts as a vicious cycle. The child will only crave those foods then, eats more of them and bad bacteria continues to flourish – the child craves more and picky eating is the result. The diet can become really restricted which is where we found ourselves in the beginning. Overgrowth of bad bacteria will also cause hyperactivity and sleep issues etc.
It probably seems massively daunting moving away from these kinds of foods especially if you have a very picky eater. Rose lived off Jacob’s crackers and butter. We transitioned slowly and I used homemade alternatives. It took a long time, but it is possible!
I avoid anything premade. A good way to look at it is if you don’t recognise the ingredient name, then don’t buy it. For example if it isn’t a whole ingredient or food ie oats, banana, vanilla, chickpeas etc.
3. Learning about which oils were toxic and which were nourishing – removing industrial seed oils
Up until I started to learn more about functional medicine I actually thought that sunflower oil was good for us. I had a degree in human biology at this time and so I thought I knew quite a bit about health. How wrong I was. Rose would eat canned fish in sunflower oil many times per week. Processed seed oils are marketed as ‘good’ for us and so I assumed I was feeding her nourishing things. The actual truth is a stark contrast. Every time I learn more, I understand how important it is to do your own research and never just trust a fancy food label or advert.
Industrial seed oils are made by gathering the plants, then heating them to extremely high temperatures. This causes oxidisation, the by-products from oxidised fats are extremely harmful to human health. The seeds are then processed further with petroleum – this is to maximise the amount of oil extracted. Chemicals are then used to make the oils smell less rancid. This process produces trans fats which are also very damaging to health. Then finally more chemicals are added to change the colour of the oil to look more appealing.
Industrial seed oils include;
- Canola oil
- Corn oil
- Cottonseed oil
- Soybean oil
- Sunflower oil
- Safflower oil
- Peanut oil
Processed foods are a also significant source of industrial seed oils as is grain fed meat. This is one of the reasons why I now opt for organic grass fed meat instead.
‘A delicate balance between omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids must be maintained in the body to promote optimal health. The ancestral ratio of omega-6 to omega-3 is 1 to 1. Westernised diets, however, greatly exceed this balance, with omega-6 to omega-3 ratios in the range of 10 to 1 to 20 to 1. This imbalance produces a state of chronic inflammation that contributes to numerous chronic disease processes.’
Industrial seed oils are FULL of additives. These additives such as; BHA, BHT, and TBHQ have endocrine-disrupting, carcinogenic, and immune-disrupting effects. They have also been linked to promoting the development of food allergies.
They come from genetically modified plants also.
You can read much more about industrial seed oils in THIS article.
Fats to use instead:
- Extra virgin olive oil
- Coconut oil
- Ghee – is usually a safe option even for dairy-sensitive people because all milk constituents such as casein are removed in its creation.
- Tallow
- Duck Fat
- Lard
4. Reflex Integration
I learned so much about how important this is for children with autism in my health coach training, it is under-recognised, but can be life changing for some kids. One of my now friends – Kara has a whole training programme for children, courses and other resources. She kindly gave me a discount code to share with my community which I was so grateful for. YOU CAN USE CODE UNICORN15 FOR 15% OFF ALL OF HER RESOURCES. You can view her website HERE. Just enter the ode UNICORN15 at the checkout. Reflex integration is not well understood, but has been one of things that has helped Rose the most after dietary interventions. Rose developed new skills such as putting her socks on by herself and much more controlled fine motor skills, like colouring in instead of scribbling, eye contact, engagement and language improved too etc. I am totally happy for Rose to scribble! It is more about giving her the opportunity to develop skills that she will require in later life such as writing.
I have a whole section explaining what this is HERE
5. Working on my own stress, health and mindset
I have begun to notice a direct correlation in Rose’s behaviour/ sensory regulation/ development and my own mindset. Our sensitive children are so in tune with our energy.
It is the most unselfish thing you can do to work on yourself, take care of yourself or do something that you need to feel calm and happy.
That old saying ‘you can’t give from a empty cup’ or something along those lines really couldn’t be truer when it comes to our kids.
We need to invest in our own health – mental and physical to be able to serve them adequately.
Whether that looks like seeing a friend for a chat, going for a massage, listening to a podcast or just having a bath alone it is so important to make time. This is something that I am only learning recently the importance of.
I always see gains from Rose when I am ready to accept them and my mindset is in the right place to view the situation with positivity. Our kids do what we do, not what we say. They will copy the way we regulate emotions.
6. Reducing toxic load / exposure
Again something I had absolutely no clue about at the beginning, but now understand that this is actually one of the most huge factors when it comes to Rose’s diagnosis. You can read more on toxic load HERE.
This is a process that we went through over a period of time. It was extremely overwhelming for me when I discovered just how many toxins we were being exposed to and the relevance of this when it comes to an autism diagnosis.
Reading labels and understanding which ingredients cause harm was really important. This is a huge piece of our puzzle and is something we work on daily via juices, epsom salt baths, massage, increasing foods that support the liver. We reduced all controllable toxins in our environment – self care, cleaning products, home, air and water. We also started buying organic grass fed meats and organic fruit and vegetables where needed. At the start her heavy metals were 5 times what mine were! Within a year we had reduced by half and some by two thirds. She definitely seemed calmer, cognition, speech and understanding increased and she was less ‘foggy’ after this was reduced.
Remember that it is a process that takes time. One of the things I found to be less overwhelming, was to replace when something had broken, or had run out. Trying to change everything in one go is way too stressful and expensive.
7. Limiting screen time – especially devices such as ipads
This is a hard one to implement for many parents including me! And this is because many of our children are almost ‘addicted’ to the routine of ipad or TV. From my own experiences with Rose – the TV or Ipad formed part the familiar desired outcome every single time that children like Rose crave. They can programme them to give a definite, exact same result every time. The same film for example, a certain part of the credits or the same funny video on the Ipad – they give the child the pay off that they desire – which is sameness.
I am not against TV 100% and I think sitting down to watch a family movie, or having lazy morning and lying in bed snuggling with some TV is lovely. It reminds me of my childhood. We often go my in-laws and Rose loves watching cartoons there because at has formed part of the routine of being there. I also know many parents that use the Ipad for reinforcing other behaviours, or for communicative purposes. But I do limit screen time and we don’t use an Ipad at home at all and this is what works for us.
When Rose uses the Ipad it consumes her. It’s like she becomes distant, and vacant. She is further removed from us and becomes completely obsessed with it to the point where removal is met with anger and aggression.
This probably sounds really over the top, and you’re thinking ‘it’s just a bloody Ipad what’s the big deal?’.
Try a week without it and see how much more connected they seem to you, and how many other activities they seem to engage in.
Remember a board game is never going to compete with a digital screen that they can manipulate. They are made to engage the brain in such a way that it craves more.
After many years of understanding that there was a link between Rose’s Ipad use and behaviour, I started to research. The research led me to more sinister information and it is why I am not a fan of prolonged Ipad use for my kids.
Ipads and phones emit blue light- this actually inhibits the production of melatonin. Melatonin is a hormone that regulates the sleep–wake cycle. It can also suppress REM sleep which may increase stress hormones. Rose always seems much more dysregulated after a session on the Ipad.
EMFs are physical fields produced by an electrically charged object that are known to cause damage to health including the nervous system. Thy are emitted from Ipad, phones etc.
This is extremely inconvenient info for most including myself. And unless you go and live in a cave somewhere, you cannot completely avoid it. You can read more about EMF HERE. You will be shocked upon reading this!
Toxins in mold in the home are increased by 600 times when exposed to radiation such as EMF. We know that mould is a significant environmental factor for autism and other diagnoses.
THIS video by Dr Klinghart is useful. It explains how in the presence of EMF, mould becomes much more dangerous and toxic.
I liked this BLOG too.
And this BLOG …’screens and electronics run the risk of keeping kids in a chronic state of hyper-arousal, leaving them agitated yet somehow exhausted. This heightened state makes it harder for children to retain information, perform in school, interact socially, relate to others, and self-soothe and regulate emotions. This is not just a result of the reward centre of the brain being overstimulated in response to screens, but a consequence other important areas of their developing brains being underused’, explains psychologist Doreen Dodgen-Magee, who’s also the author of Deviced! Balancing Life and Technology in a Digital World.
This BLOG has a list of ways of avoiding EMF emissions.
8. Letting go of my perceived goals for ‘typical’ play time
In the early days when Rose was non verbal and impossible to play with in the ‘typical way, I would get really frustrated. I always went into the ‘play’ on my own agenda. Inevitably Rose would be completely uninterested, and it was quite frankly soul destroying. The whole time would be spent almost battling to get her to put puzzle pieces into the corresponding holes, or playing the game in what I deemed to be the ‘correct’ way.
Agonisingly trying to gain her attention for an activity that she was not invested in or cared about in the slightest!
Then I remember one day I took a puzzle out to play it in the usual way and she started to just slide each piece down the slide – tis was her typical way of playing with toys. Normally I would try to get her back on the task that I had envisioned, by picking up the pieces and trying to bring her to sit down. Which would fail and she would end up walking off. But this day for some reason, I just rolled the pieces down the slide with her. I don’t know why I did it. Probably because I was so worn down with trying to get her into perfect puzzle world. It went against every shred of my being, because in my head the goal was for her to be able to complete this bloody puzzle!
As I slid that piece down the slide, I remember her little face lighting up. It was the most engaged in play with me that she had ever been. She couldn’t speak at this point and was really quite far in her own world. This became our go to. And we would literally be putting all sorts of things down that slide! We started to take turns even! And one of her first words was ‘go’ because of games like this. It was amazing. It taught me that Rose wasn’t going to fit into my perceived view of play, so I had to let go of what my brain is programmed to do, step into her world and follow her lead.
Our play time changed forever that day. I know it sounds super cheesy, but it made me change my mindset when it came to Rose and understand what she wanted to tell me without words. This was definitely one of the breakthroughs for me when wanting to interact with Rose whilst words were not there.
There is a programme called Sonrise, which goes along these lines – many parents have found great success with it.
You can find out more about Sonrise HERE.
9. Listening to my own maternal intuition!
For the longest time I had no confidence in my own knowledge and maternal instinct. I listened for years to ‘professionals’ telling me what was right for Rose. Even when in the back of my mind I doubted it and knew that there was more that could be done to improve her condition. Even after all of my own research I still put all of my trust in biomed doctors and other therapists above my own judgement, which inevitably lead to piles of supplements which caused reactions and misery.
It was only as recently as 6 months ago that I started to actually understand that I knew more about Rose than anyone else. I carried her for 9 months, we are deeply connected – to the point where my mood is mirrored in her and it seems bizarre like she is part of me – both the children are!
As soon as I started following my own intuition, even when it went against a professional that I respected, things improved again for Rose.
I am researching every day, I am an expert in Rose and her body. The biomed doctor I saw for an hour 2 months ago is no where near as invested in my child’s outcomes as me.
10. Keeping a daily food diary to understand which foods were causing us issues
The food diary we use is HERE. And a have written a whole section on common food sensitivities HERE. Kids can be sensitive to any food that they consume. Just because it isn’t on the top list of allergens or is deemed a super food it doesn’t mean that our kids can tolerate it, break it down and digest it effectively.
By keeping this food diary it really helped to mould the diet into one which was fulfilling for Rose without causing her harm. Things such as tomato sauces for example – we found were causing huge problems with sleep and other issues. Whilst keeping the diary we could easily spot which foods were causing problems and then reduce them.
Remember in a lot of cases that food sensitivities can are there as a sign that there are other issues going on inside the body.
As Rose started healing her body became much less reactive.
I hope you have found some use in this post. If you want to connect further I can be found on Instagram @thehappyhealthyunicorn.
